Darrell and I currently attend the church that I grew up at in Sioux Falls. It's a nice church, we like it well enough, and it's one of the few churches in town that hasn't gone too contemporary for our tastes. But there's one major problem. The members of the church seem to be having a difficult time understanding that I no longer have the last name of my parents. Despite the fact that we got married at that church, which means that on the Sunday after our wedding our Pastor commented about how the flowers on the alter were from our ceremony and then said a prayer for us during the prayers (not that I was at church the morning after my wedding, but I know she does this after all weddings a members in the church).
The first incident was forgivable--we went to get our photo taken for the new church directory about three months after the wedding and when we walked in the church ladies who were checking people in exclaimed "Oh, so you're this couple! We were wondering who this Darrell and Jess was". We laughed, thought the old ladies were cute, and promptly forgot about it. Until about three months later (so we've been married six months at this point) when we agreed to help serve Communion. The person from the church who was organizing the volunteers called Darrell's cell, found a date that worked for us, mailed us a reminder, and printed our names in the bulletin. After church that day he comes up to me and says "I was so confused when you walked up to help with Communion! I knew I had called a Darrell and Jess, but when I saw you go up there I thought maybe there had been a change or something at the last minute. But then I realized that you ARE the same Jess just with a different last name!" This fact was very amusing to him--we just smiled along and nodded our heads in agreement.
Well, nothing had happened for awhile, so we thought maybe we were in the clear. How mistaken we were. Two weeks ago we signed up to be greeters at church (check it off the 101 in 1001 list!). As we were greeting members going into church, and after church while we were serving at coffee hour, we got at least five comments from members about how they had never made the connection that the couple "Darrell and Jess" was indeed, the "Darrell and Jess" that I was a part of. Mind you, I don't think our church has any other Darrells, or even any other Jessicas for that matter, so there aren't a whole lot to confuse them with. People even told us that when they saw our name printed in the church magazine saying that we were going to be greeters they thought it was new members. At this point the joke is starting to get a little old. Especially to Darrell--he joined the church over a year before our wedding, so in theory people should be familiar with him and his name, and then pair with that the fact that we arrive together and sit together EVERY Sunday--it should be a fairly simple equation. But it's not. And it gets worse.
Last week the new directories came out. Darrell and I were out of town so we didn't get a chance to get ours, but at dinner with my parents on Tuesday night we heard all about them. Apparently, in the photo directory segment of the directory, Darrell and I are clearly listed as a married couple, and my parents have my brother in their photo with them, which is also clearly stated. But in the back, where they have the addresses listed, I'm listed under my parent's address. Sure, I'm also there under the address that Darrell and I live at together--and with my married name, obviously. Under my parent's listing? I'm there with my maiden name. Despite the fact that I haven't lived at that address (as my main place of residence) for over four years--and the fact that I no longer have that name. On any legal document (birth certificate aside, obviously). Awesome. And I guess that goof just added to the confusion that was already brewing, because yesterday I got a letter from church addressed to "Jessica (maiden name) (married name)". Seriously?
I'm a little torn on what to do--part of me says that we should become uber-active so that everyone FINALLY puts two and two together... But part of me also doesn't want to do that because then we're going to have to deal with MORE "Oh, I didn't realize you were married!" "Oh, I didn't realize you were THAT Jess" comments until everyone DOES put two and two together. Ugh.
Disclaimer: I fully realize that this is a total non-issue. And I fully realized that I've blown it up into a way bigger deal than it actually is. I really didn't intend for it to get that snarky, but it just kind of came out once I got started. And I was kind of having fun with it so I didn't want to go back and change it. So, to any of my fellow church-goers (if there are any of you reading...doubtful), please don't take this insultingly. I'm merely over-exaggerating a comical situation.
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