How Did These Kids Get to High School?!?!

For those of you who don't know, I work as a math/science "specialist" at a high school (I use quotation marks because that isn't actually the title on my job description, it's just a better explanation for what I on a daily basis). And on many occasions, I find myself having to teach things to students that seriously make me scratch my head and go "really??"

Exhibit A
Student: I think I made a mistake on this problem.
Me: How so?
Student: Well, I changed the scale of the viewing window on my calculator, so won't that change the values of my x- and y-intercepts?
Me: *face palm*

Exhibit B
Student: I don't understand what I'm supposed to do.
Me: Have you read the directions?
Student: Yeah. It says to "find the product".
Me: So what math operation does that mean you should do?
Student: I don't know, divide?

Exhibit C
Student: Where's the fraction button on this calculator?
Me: Most calculators don't have a fraction button.
Student: So how do I enter a fraction?
Me: Well, what operation is indicated by the fraction bar?
Student: Subtract?

Exhibit D
Student: I can't solve this problem.
Me: Well, what have you tried so far?
Student: Nothing.
Me: Then how do you know you can't solve it?
Student: It has fractions in it.
(Seriously. I get this all the time. And if they get a fraction for an answer? You better believe they are convinced they did the problem incorrectly.)

And I don't have any one good example about this next "really?" moment, but you won't believe the number of times I have to explain to high school students the difference between area and perimeter and how to calculate either for basic shapes (rectangles, triangles, circles). Pretty certain that is an elementary school skill.

Now, maybe I just have too high of standards for these kids, but there are so many times where I find myself teaching concepts that I know are covered (thoroughly) at the middle school level, if not elementary. And when the students are in advanced classes (as is the student in Exhibit A), I'm definitely going to hold them to a higher standard. Of course, if all the students understood these things I'd be out a job, but still. The comedy of it all just makes me laugh sometimes. We're wrapping up our school year for this spring, but I may have to continue this list in the fall--because I know these students will continue to surprise me.