Oh Valentine's Day. That wonderful holiday of love, romance, and over-priced flowers and chocolates. Forgive me if I don't get overly sentimental about the holiday; the only thing I really like about Valentine's Day is the discounted chocolate the day after. But, I know many people hold Valentine's Day in high esteem, and enjoy the opportunity to shower those they care about with love and affection (regardless of the inflated cost), so in this traditional season of love I thought it would only be appropriate to address the implementation of traditions during another time of love: the wedding.
Wedding traditions can vary from widely-known (tossing the bouquet) to more intimate family traditions (wearing an heirloom broach). Regardless of the scope of the tradition, though, you should never include something in your wedding "just because it's what everyone else does". While some guests may be surprised that you omit the bouquet toss, an equal number of guests probably won't even notice. If the thought of a bunch of grown adults dancing around like chickens makes you cry a little inside, tell the DJ he isn't allowed to play the chicken dance. If you are closer to your mom than your dad, have her walk you down the aisle. Or have them both walk you down the aisle. Or walk down the aisle by yourself! When it comes time to determine the details of your special day, remember that you are not planning the event to please your guests; you are planning the wedding to mark the beginning of your life as husband and wife, and therefore the day should be a reflection of you and your relationship with your future spouse. And if being "you" involves wearing a dress with rainbow-colored tulle, then by all means, go for it. Don't worry about what tradition says. Especially because many of the "common" traditions are rooted in beliefs that are no longer relevant in modern day (did you know that the tradition of the bride tossing her bouquet originated because wedding guests used to tear at a bride's dress after the wedding as an attempt to "steal" some of her luck so she would toss her bouquet--and other items--as a distraction?).
Personally, while I have no objections to mainstream traditions, I always find that I get more sentimental when I hear about family traditions that have been incorporated into weddings. Like the Bible passage that has been read at weddings for generations. Or the cake topper that graced the cake at a grandparent's wedding. Or the father-daughter song that your father used to sing to you as he rocked you to sleep as a child. Perhaps your guests won't recognize these things as tradition, and they likely won't understand the meaning behind them, but that's okay. What's important is that the traditions are meaningful to you.
Oh, and that whole Valentine's Day thing? Why not go for some traditions there too? Forget the expensive flowers and chocolates and jewelry--start a tradition of making cupcakes with your sweetie to share on Valentine's Day. Or make a homemade pizza--you could even shape the crust into a heart! The possibilities are endless.
Note: With baby fast approaching, I plan to wrap up my series of Wedding Wednesday in the next few weeks. So if you have any wedding-related topic that you would like me to address, feel free to let me know!
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