So I realized that in my discussion of things to consider when selecting your bridal party last week, I didn't address the issue of including flower girls/ring bearers in said party. For some people, it's a no-brainer to include these little ones in the wedding, whether it be because you and/or your fiance have young children or because you have close family members who do. For others, it's equally as easy of a decision to exclude these roles from the wedding, usually for a variety of reasons. But if you are on the fence, here are a few things to consider.
The Ring Bearer and Flower Girl do not have to be a package deal
There is no rule that says having a flower girl requires you to have a ring bearer as well. While it may have been the tradition in the past to have both (or neither), many people are straying from that. A cute-looking youngster walking down the aisle is always adorable, alone or with others. No one will really pay attention to the fact that there was a cute looking flower girl but no ring bearer.
Kids are unpredictable, no matter what
You may think your little nephew is an angel and super well-behaved, and it the confines of a family home, he just might be. But when you put him in front of a church full of people, there's no telling what he might do. He might refuse to go down the aisle altogether; he may sprint down the aisle like a bat out of hell; he may get bored and start exploring the alter area during the service; trust me, I've seen it all. And pictures? Don't count on them cooperating--if you can even get them in the picture at all. If the idea of random surprises on your wedding day alarms you, having kids in your wedding party may not be right for you. Even if you are convinced your six-year-old niece is a perfectly well-mannered.
Kids come with baggage
You know that cute four-year-old you want to come drop rose petals in the aisle at your wedding? Well, she'll have to be at your rehearsal. And kids don't get themselves to rehearsals on their own. So expect to feed a few extra mouths at the rehearsal dinner, because you'll need to have the parents of your little ones invited as well. And the nosy dad of your adorable flower girl? Well, he may think that he's entitled to share his opinion about some of the details since his little girl is a part of the affair. Just something to keep in mind.
I realize that most of those points could be construed as reasons not to have a flower girl/ring bearer, and I should clarify--that really isn't my opinion in the least. Darrell and I had both at our wedding, and I wouldn't change it, even though our ring bearer never made it down the aisle and is throwing a tantrum in the only picture we have with him in it. For starters, I didn't know that he refused to walk down the aisle until after the ceremony was over, and by then I was too excited to care that something hadn't gone "perfectly". Plus, Darrell and I happen to think the picture of him throwing a tantrum is pretty darn cute. But I also know that Darrell and I are not everyone, and I know that some of these things would put a serious damper on someone else's wedding day. So I just wanted to make sure to be thorough and put a few things out there that some people may not consider before deciding to include little ones in their wedding party.
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