Bigger isn't always better
This is may be just a personal preference, but I think large bridal parties are overwhelming. I know that some people just have that many close family members and friends, but when there is a whole entourage of people at the front of the church, it can get easy to lose the bride and groom. And I find this to be especially true when looking at photographs of large bridal parties--it gets to be hard to "see" everyone because you are trying to cram so many people into the frame.
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| Images from Style Me Pretty |
And there are obviously the financial considerations of having a large bridal party--more people in the bridal party means more people to pay for at the rehearsal dinner, more bridal party gifts to buy, a larger limo/vehicle to transport everyone from the wedding to reception (if you are planning to do that)--the list goes on.
Choose people who will make you wedding day better--not more stressful
The people in your bridal party will be around you the entire day of your wedding. So if you have a friend who is only tolerable in small doses, it is probably not wise to ask her to be in your bridal party. And that cousin who is more critical than helpful? Probably not a good idea to ask her either. Stick with people who make you smile, who make you feel relaxed, and who won't try to steal the limelight from you on your big day. Don't let yourself feel guilted into asking people to be in your bridal party--if they truly get offended that you didn't include them and subsequently hold it against you, then they probably weren't truly your friend in the first place--or at least weren't friends with you for the right reasons. But if they are truly your friend, they will understand and respect your decision, and probably still offer to help in whatever way they can. (And in fact, some might even be relieved not to be asked to be a bridesmaid because being a bridesmaid can be somewhat of a financial burden. Which brings me to point three....)
Don't make being a member of the bridal party a huge financial--or time--burden.
This is a huge one for me. By asking someone to be in your bridal party, you are pretty much acknowledging the special role he or she plays in your life. So don't turn around and take advantage of those special people in your life by asking them to shell out tons of money--or dedicate hours of their time--to be a part of your big day. Obviously there are some financial commitments; I pretty much expect that when someone asks me to be a bridesmaid that I'll be expected to pay for a dress (and possibly matching shoes and jewelry--more on bridesmaid dresses later though). But as the bride, you can make this burden a little bit easier by selecting items that are reasonably priced, or even paying for an element of their wedding day attire (make the jewelry their bridesmaid gift, for example). Also, be understanding when planing the bridal shower and/or bachelorette party. If you have your heart set on going to Vegas, understand that some of your bridal party might not be able to afford the trip (or at least make sure they are aware of--and okay with--this "obligation" from the start).
And even though you may have lots of wonderful DIY elements that you want to add to your wedding, don't expect your bridal party to help you put those elements together. Sure, you may have friends that are as DIY-minded as you are and would subsequently love to help out, but you may have other friends who are not comfortable with those kind of projects--or who might not have the time to spend four hours on a Saturday to help you put together invitations. Be understanding of these things--remember, you asked them to be in your bridal party because they have a meaningful relationship with you; a wedding is not a good excuse to take advantage of that relationship.
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