Not Ready for This

I never thought I was going to be one of those moms who was all "oh, my kids are growing up so fast!" and find myself getting sentimental about it, but, well, it's happening. Maybe it's still just postpartum hormones? Either way, I am not ready for William to be growing up this quickly.

When it was time for the children's message at church this morning, I asked William if he wanted to go up to listen to the story. He initially said "no", but after watching the other children walk up he changed his mind. So he crawled off the pew and started walking up to the front of the church. Assuming that he'd want to sit on my lap once he got to the front (like he usually does), I followed behind. Well, today he just walked right up to the altar steps and sat himself down next to the other children. Not wanting to take away his independence, I perched on the edge of the pew at the front of the church, assuming he'd eventually come running to me and want me to sit with him. Nope. Not today. He sat up there--by himself--for the whole story. Sure, he got a little antsy and squirmed around a little bit (and played briefly with the altar rails), but never once did he try to come to me (or even acknowledge that I was there), nor did he get disruptive enough that I needed to intercept him. And as he walked back to our pew, he randomly started clapping--maybe he was proud of himself for being such a big boy? I know I sure was--although a little sad, too. Because seriously? He isn't even two yet (although that milestone is rapidly approaching!). I don't know if I'm ready for him to stop needing/wanting us.

Thankfully, later on in the service, he gave me a good reminder that he does have some sweet young innocence left in him. At one point when he was sitting in my lap, I leaned forward and whispered in his ear that I loved him. And he immediately turned his head around to plant a kiss on my cheek. I know it won't be long before he'll be too old to do embarrassing things like kiss his mom in public, so I'm going to enjoy every one of those while I still can. Because hopefully that wasn't the last one. I'm so not ready for that.