Behind the Lens

I had a very eye-opening experience happen to me earlier this week. We were up in Minneapolis for a Shriner's event, and although Darrell often does photography work for the Shrine, as of late he has been marching in the parades and is therefore unable to take pictures. My mom and sister were going to be at the parade and could help watch William, so I decided to take his camera and take a few pictures of his unit and the other units from the El Riad temple for the El Riad's monthly newsletter. Not that I am skilled in the least with Darrell's camera, but I figured something was better than nothing and he could always edit the pictures to make them better.

Fast forward to after the parade--Darrell was asking how his unit had sounded, and although my gut reaction was (and always is) to answer "You sounded great", I hesitated because I realized I couldn't actually answer the question. You see, I'd been so focused on taking pictures and trying to get good angles and lighting and everything else that I hadn't actually paid attention to what they were doing. I couldn't have even told you what song they were playing. I didn't wave and blow a kiss to Darrell, and he couldn't find me to wink at me because I was too busy running around with the camera. And it made me sad. The one part of the parade that I was most excited for--the whole reason I was at the parade--I had essentially missed because I'd been too busy behind the camera lens. Maybe if I had gotten a good picture (and/or if I was more comfortable with his camera) I'd feel differently about my time behind the lens, but in retrospect I regret having the camera with me.

When I shared my feelings with Darrell, he reaffirmed my thoughts, admitting that that very reason is why he hasn't taken as many pictures of William as people thought that he would. Sure, he has a nice camera, and sure, our son is super photogenic (don't worry, we're not biased), but experiences behind the lens pale in comparison to those that go on in front of it. Maybe someday we'll regret the pictures that we don't have, but for right now we're too busy creating memories and enjoying the experiences to care.