The Happy Wives Club

This was our book club selection for the month of January? February? I honestly don't remember. Anyway, despite not actually finishing it in time for our book club meeting, I did finish the book a few days later. And I have a conflict of interest with what to write about it.

Here's the deal. Part of me wants to whole-heartedly endorse this book and recommend it to all my friends (female or not--the message of the book can be applicable for both sexes). In fact, I really want to pass my copy of the book around to others and share the message with them. But then I start to worry about how I would go about recommending it to my friends. I'm afraid that if I say, "Here, I think you should read this book about how to be a happy wife and have a wonderful marriage", all they'll hear is "Here, I think you should read this book because you seem terribly unhappy in your marriage and I think it could use some work". Even if I just think they should read the book because it's happy and uplifting and a positive book about marriage (for once!), I'm afraid there's no way to avoid my recommendation sounding like I think their life and marriage need improvements.

Here's my other hang-up with the book. While I loved the "secrets" the author uncovered about a happy, successful marriage on her journey around the world, I didn't truly find any of them earth-shattering. And, to risk sounding like I'm tooting the horn of my own marriage, I felt like Darrell and I already embodied most of them:

--Take divorce off the table. Never once has divorce been thrown out as a threat after a fight or particularly trying event. And it never will. We decided before we even got married that once those rings were on our fingers it was for good, and we would work at and do whatever it took to keep us together. Having parents who have never divorced certainly helped instill this mentality in us, but it was a decision we made together and we plan to stick to it.

--Laugh together every day. Please. Have you ever spent any time around my husband? Sometimes I wish he took himself and things more seriously. But only sometimes.

--Date your spouse. I don't exactly remember exactly when we started this ritual, but we make it a point to go on a date, just the two of us, once a month. We usually pick the night at the beginning of the month and plan something special, even if it is just dinner at a nice restaurant. We took a few months off right after William was born, but it's been especially good for us now to get back into the routine.

Those aren't the only "secrets", but I figured there was no sense in giving away the whole book because I do recommend this book and I do think lots of people should read it, regardless of their happiness level in their marriage. Because let's be honest--no one (and no marriage) is ever perfect.