Matthew: Four Years!

Fun fact: In psyching myself up to (finally) get around to writing this post, I thought to myself "well, even if I don't feel like tackling the whole post tonight, at the very least I can type up the answers to his birthday interview questions and get that much of it done". Second fun fact: I don't start the birthday interviews until five, so no such thing exists for Matthew. Which is really killing my motivation for working on this, but I will power through because I've got Garrett's birthday post waiting in the shadows to be completed, and the good news is that one DOES have a birthday interview. Now I just need to remember how I do these non-birthday interview posts because it feels like forever (or you know, a year) since I've had to do one.

I mean, Matthew's practically ready to start working a full-time job, so it's not my fault I assumed he was old enough to have a birthday interview

Height/Weight: I can't possibly figure out how this could have happened, but Darrell and I seriously managed to "copy paste" four entirely different pregnancies and early childhood years (at least as far as physical attributes go). I know separation is coming--Connor isn't even 6.5 yet and he is already taller than Garrett was at 7--but at four the line remains pretty identical. Matthew weighed in at 34 pounds, 10 ounces, which is second only to William (STILL haven't figured out how William is proportionally heavier than he is tall), but because he's the baby, I one hundred percent feel like he's a peanut and it's hard to believe that both Garrett and Connor were lighter (by more than a pound and a half!) at four. Their heights continue to be within an inch of each other, with Matthew's 39.5 inches landing somewhere in the middle (Garrett being shortest at 39 inches and William and Connor both landing roughly around 39.75 inches). 

We may not have "copy pasted" all aspects of their personality, but climbing things with reckless abandon is definitely something they all do. Thanks a lot Darrell

Wearing: Seriously? So glad this is my last year with this question. He wears clothes. They have a size on the tag. The size means nothing (seriously--some of his shirts still say 2T, but others say 4T. And pants are basically the same. Those only get pulled if they are too short--because never have any of my boys ever outgrown the waist--so he has a whole smattering of sizes in his drawer). If I'd let him, he'd wear soft pants--and gym shorts--all day every day, but mean mom makes him wear "real" pants (aka jeans) when we go "out" (library, grocery store, etc). As identical as they have been with heights and weights, I'm glad I got William's temperament first: he pretty readily accepted the clothing "rule" we implemented, and that has made it oh so much easier to be consistent with down the road. Maybe someday I'll let them wear sweat pants all day every day, but I at least want them to have some core memory of understanding that it's important to present ourselves in a way that aligns with how we want others to perceive and respect us. The biggest thing to note here is that he is wearing big boy underwear all day AND all night. A week or so after we potty trained him (right around his third birthday), he woke up with a dry pull up, and I immediately panicked. I assumed he was dehydrated (even though it was the middle of winter) and tried to rack my brain for the last time he had drank a glass of water. Moments later, he said he needed to go potty, and as I listened to him drain--and continue to drain--his bladder, I had the realization that he was, in fact, NOT dehydrated, but that he had managed to hold his pee for the entirety of the night. And it wasn't just a one-time thing--he did it the one time and then proceeded to do it with 99% accuracy for the entirely of the following year. Of course, I had never considered that this would happen, and we had oodles of pull ups in the size he needed (you know I love to stock up on a good sale!), but at some point a few weeks down the road we bit the bullet and gave away our extras because we wanted to affirm his successes in staying dry by allowing him to wear his underwear at night instead of putting him in a pull up just to use them up. Someday I'll have all my boys in underwear at bedtime... But today is not that day.

Is it too cheesy to say he's also always wearing a smile? Yes? Too bad. 

Eating: I love to hate that this section is just as identical as the height/weight section has been for all his brothers. We have four fantastic eaters, and we love every minute of it. Of course, a lot of the credit of that goes to Darrell, who has found a second home in the kitchen (and who is willing to humor me by preparing recipes that I find which require kitchen skills that I am not confident in executing myself). I still don't love menu planning EVERY week, but I fully recognize the privilege I have that menu planning is difficult because I have too many recipes to choose from, not that menu planning is difficult because I have so few meals I can plan that everyone will eat. I honestly can't even think of any Matthew-specific eating habits/preferences to mention; he eats what the rest of us eat, and honestly, most of the time he eats it in quantities that are not adequately reflected in his height/weight. He uses the same size plates as the rest of us, and we don't always remember to give him smaller portions than his brothers (who often ask for seconds, but not always). He's not a huge milk drinker, but what is ironic here is that at fifteen months (yes, I went back and checked old posts) I commented that he transitioned to cow's milk better than his brothers (because I know it was ROUGH for some of them). That early "easy" transition seems to have waned into a mid disinterest, and it's almost a guarantee that he isn't allowed to get down from the table at meals until he's had "three more" drinks of milk, because chances are he hasn't had any up to that point. And honestly? I'll one hundred percent take a kid who is "iffy" on milk but totally up for trying Lobster Ravioli in Tomato Cream Sauce. Call me crazy. 

Of course, no kid is going to say no to cotton candy!

Sleep: For the first time in basically forever, I'm grasping at straws to have a complaint in the "sleep" department (and not just with Matthew--with ALL the boys). He still naps basically every day (with minimal complaint), but is fine going without. I honestly can't think of the last time he was up in the middle of the night, and even if he does stir on the infrequent occasions Connor wakes up he settles back down quickly. I am pretty certain that he does not go to sleep right away after lights out (which is still at 8:00 for him and Connor), but as far as we can tell he doesn't disturb Connor, so we don't fight it. While there is no shortage of stuffed animals and blankets in his bed, he doesn't have any one "must have" animal (like Garrett's taggie and Connor's lambie). The only downside to this is that we no longer have a duplicate animal that we can pull out if the current favorite is missing since it changes pretty regularly; however, the advantage to this is that if the current favorite is missing we can usually entice him with a previous favorite (bonus points if it recently spent time in Garrett's or Connor's beds).

I assure you we did not put him to bed with his animals situated like this, but as long as he stays confined to his bed and doesn't bother Connor I don't really care all that much--especially since his restlessness at night is pretty much one hundred percent related to the fact that he still naps, and I really really don't want to give those up yet

New Stuff: So remember how at the beginning of this post I assumed I'd have a birthday interview to include, forgetting that Matthew is only four? Well, I had another lapse in memory: As I was rereading his brother's four-year posts, all of them mentioned that they had started Sunday School the previous year. And I swear, I sat here and tried to figure out how the birthday situation had worked out such that Matthew had started Sunday School a year earlier than his brothers, because it didn't seem reasonable that he JUST started Sunday School four (well, now five) months ago in September. But no, he did one hundred percent start Sunday School this past fall, which also means that he did Vacation Bible School for the first time this past summer, AND solo swim lessons for the first time last spring (which, #fourthchildproblems, we have all of zero pictures of, but he did really really well). And as you can see from the pictures below, he transitioned into Vacation Bible School and Sunday School like he's been doing them his whole life.

The Vacation Bible School songs were a little unfamiliar and he only had a few days to learn them, but he had zero fear going up there and nailed the majority of the actions

Christmas Carols are Matthew's love language (although he sings along with the radio plenty too--no shortage of singing from this kid). Every bedtime song for basically the past year has been a Christmas Carol (usually Go Tell It On the Mountain and Joy to the World), and I'm not kidding when I say he was one of the loudest singers at the Sunday School Christmas program (sometimes it was more of a shout than a "sing", but I'll take what I get). He doesn't always get the lyrics right--Hark the Herald is Park the Herald--but he one hundred percent commits to what he's going to say and sings it loud and proud

Last year I commented that I hadn't recorded any of Matthew's cute sayings, and while that's still basically true, I did write down that he calls sneezes "bless yous" (as in "I didn't have any bless yous yesterday) and I'm in no hurry to correct him. Truthfully, I think the biggest reason I don't have more Matthew-isms recorded is that they tend to be pretty short-lived; with three older brothers he is regularly being corrected if he says something wrong (or does something wrong or plays with something wrong... Connor especially LOVES to find ways to correct Matthew, to the point that even if Connor has zero clue whether the "fact" Matthew stated is true or not, he'll immediately start arguing against it just to have a reason why Matthew could be wrong). 

One thing that NONE of Matthew's brothers could correct him on? His March Madness picks last year. The kid ridiculously managed to pick the correct National Champion (with ZERO input from anyone on his bracket selections), which not only put him way at the top of our family pool, but also in the 99th percentile of ALL brackets on ESPN. Go figure

To their credit, all my boys can be quite helpful at times, but Matthew definitely ups the ante, especially if he is in the right mood. I'll admit that part of the reason for this is I have given him a longer leash for doing "cleaning" activities at home (aka filling the bathroom sink and "washing" stuff), because having all his brothers at school has been a bit of a rough adjustment and sometimes I need a break from being a playmate (which--I suppose being the only boy home during the day is probably a new thing that merits noting!). Another reason for this--and honestly, this one is also directly linked to his being the only boy at home--is that I find myself being much more inclined to run even "quick" errands with just Matthew (forgot one thing at the grocery store? Matthew and I will get it in the morning, whereas I sometimes tried to squeeze those errands in after the boys were in bed). And I'm sure this will be even more true once he can buckle and unbuckle his car seat (right now he has the unbuckling mastered, but he still struggles getting the crotch clip secured when he gets into his car seat). But, as long as there is the promise of something "fun" (going to a gym or park or even a special snack in the car), he generally tolerates the errand running, even if it's multiple stores on the same day. Needless to say, he gets lots of practice being helpful, which is probably part of the reason why we see him step more naturally into helpful roles around the house than his brothers do (although when asked, his brothers do a good job as well... at least most of the time). 

Have all my boys asked to help with dishes? Yes. Do we say yes to Matthew more often than we did his brothers? Also yes. Such is life.

It ALWAYS creates waaaaaay more work for us when he gets in a "mood" to clean the bathroom, and the mirror always ends up more smudged and streaked than when he started, but tell me you would say "no" to that adorable child. 

Taking trash to the dumpster at the lake!

While some of his "skills" seem behind where his brothers were at four (reading, writing, counting, etc), I feel like he's probably still ahead of the curve on them and candidly, his fine motor skills are pretty darn impressive (and apparently I'm not supposed to compare my children to one another anyway, so forget what I said and we'll pretend he's right on perfect Matthew time for mastering all his skills). As I mentioned earlier, he doesn't play independently the best because he is so used to always having brothers around, but it has improved bit by bit as the school year has progressed (and as I've given myself more permission to neglect my "to do" list and sit and color or play a game with him).

Scissors? No problem for this kiddo. 

Gluing? Totally fine (does he sometimes get too much? Sure. But who doesn't?) He's also not afraid to add a little personal flair to whatever art project we are doing--he's definitely not a rule/example follower like William was!

Tracing? Mastered. But herein, I believe, lies some of the difference with his brothers: William--and to a lesser extent Garrett and Connor--relied on tracing/activity books for entertainment while he was in his toddler years. Matthew, on the other hand, has older brothers who are ALWAYS playing some sort of active game, and who wouldn't want to play couch football instead of marking up a tracing book? 

While Matthew certainly has had areas of adjustment with all of his brothers in school, I'd be lying if I didn't admit the same was true for me. And what I have found I struggle with the most is exposing Matthew to opportunities during the school day that his brothers don't get a chance to experience. Of course, this has happened as each boy has gone off to school--and the school aged kiddo always has FOMO about whatever "fun" activity Mom did with brother(s) during the school day--but I've always held the party line of "you get experiences in school that your brothers at home don't get, so it all balances out". For whatever reason, though, I have a harder time doing this with Matthew. And I think part of the issue is he's older than any of his brothers were when they were the "only" at home, so it feels like I can get out and do more than I felt comfortable doing with multiples, and then I feel guilt over his brothers not getting the same experiences. But different isn't always bad (or good), and we're slowly figuring out our rhythm. 

One activity I don't mind doing solo with Matthew is anything at the library--and he definitely gets into the activities more when his older brothers aren't around asking "is it time to go yet?"

I don't love taking him hiking without his brothers--not just because I get bummed that they are missing out, but because Matthew's tolerance for hiking on foot is markedly diminished when he doesn't have his brothers to keep up with

Exhibit A--from the same hike about ten minutes later

Exhibit B--although in his defense, this hike was with this brothers, and it was part of a three-hike day that we did, so I don't begrudge him asking to be carried 

Exhibit C--not because I'm carrying him, but because it's cute and also because it's proof that when I don't take the carrier and keep the hike to a mile at most he can handle it even without his brothers 

So this post is totally getting out of hand, and I think a large part of it is the whole "being the baby" thing and the fact that I have waaaaay more solo pictures of him than I did the other boys at four. But there's still a handful of legitimately new things that need to get mentioned, so let's get to it.

First time holding a python--check (and he seriously walked right up to it with zero fear)

First time under anesthesia--check. And he was definitely won over the nurses and surgery staff on the floor that morning; he was so cooperative and brave and everyone was so impressed with his behavior, Mom and Dad included (he's had an umbilical cyst on his belly button basically since he was born but it was getting bigger, so our pediatrician decided it was time for it to go)

I can't believe I'm saying this, but first time camping--check (seriously. I DUG through old photos convinced that this couldn't possibly be his first camping trip, but alas, I have no proof of any camping trips between August 2019 and August 2023. Which is so funny, because COVID was one hundred percent a motivator to get us back into hiking more regularly, but at the same time, prioritizing a yearly camping trip fell to the wayside)

First time solo sledding--check. And while this is just laid back front yard sledding, the first time we went to an actual sledding hill, not only was he fearless going down by himself, but he also trekked back up the hill with his sled by himself to take another turn

When I was pregnant with Matthew I made a unicorn cake for my niece's birthday, so you bet I excitedly said yes when Matthew asked for a rainbow unicorn cake for his birthday. We love you sweet boy!